Fate
by Blue Topaz
Summary: The third story is up. Fate Episode 3: Everybody Loves Jack. The more the merrier.
1. Fate

**Fate**

by Blue Topaz

blue-topaz@lycos.com

**Disclaimer:** Stargate SG-1 and its characters are not mine. Why oh why?

**Note:** This is for Becky, because she asked for it. And true to my word, this is not a NC-17 *g*. And for Scully too. Because in my eyes, Becky and Scully are partners in crime. Enjoy. 

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She didn't know for sure whether Fate was her nemesis or not. 

But, it looked like it enjoyed laughing at her expense. So much in fact, that she began questioning whether she'd done something horrid in her past life; so horrible, that Fate decided she had to pay for her sins now. 

But *come on*, no one should have to endure this. She wouldn't wish this predicament even on her worst enemy. No one should suffer this much. 

She hated Fate.

Never mind that Fate helped her stay alive for the past seven years. Or that it was Fate who introduced her to the wonderful world of SGC, and brought him into her life.

By 'him', she meant the unfairly-handsome-charismatic-sarcastic-enigmatic-(and any other positive adjectives that ended with -ic)-out of limit-CO. 

She felt cheated. 

There he was, the only man that seemed to meet *all* her requirements and she couldn't have him. Worse of all, Fate loved to flaunt him in front of her, teasing her, taunting her, baiting her, dangling him so many times like a proverbial juicy red meat in front of a hungry lion (i.e. her). The ultimate forbidden fruit.

Like now.

His strong and masculine upper body pressed so closely to hers. There was no gap between them. His chest mashed hers. His arms engulfed her in a tight embrace. As was hers. His thighs touched hers, one lay beneath, the others upon. His breath tickled her ears. His warmth flowed through her veins. 

Need she continue? 

Sure, the predicament was essentially Daniel's fault. After all, he was the one who refused to marry the local princess. But, *Fate* was the one who allowed Cupid to fire his arrow to the spoilt, young woman's heart, wasn't it? And Fate was also the one who decided that the P76 9C2's inhabitants tied their prisoners certain way, right? 

Which, she must admit, was very effective, in a round-a-bout way. They positioned the prisoners (two or more) face to face, limbs tangled in certain ways so that it was impossible to separate the bodies. Their arms and legs secured by complicated knots. 

Luckily (or not), Teal'c was not with them when the princess ordered their capture. Daniel was escorted to the princess' chamber. Her goal was obvious; to seduce the linguist while using his teammates as bargaining chips. 

Another victim of Daniel's puppy-dog-eyes, the Colonel had labeled the princess. 

Oh well, at least Teal'c was out there, somewhere. He'd asked for the Colonel's permission earlier to look around the village alone. The request was granted easily, and the villagers didn't seem to pose any danger. Well, the villagers *were* harmless! Sadly the same couldn't be said about their ruler. Surely the Jaffa would soon hear about this and came to their rescue. 

"So ..."

At least, their captor didn't put a gag on them. 

"So ..."

He sighed loudly, accepting defeat. For the past few hours, he had tried every trick in the book, from wiggling and stretching, to fumbling and rubbing against her, all in the name of loosing up the rope. Didn't he know that frictions generate heat? She suffered the whole ordeal while chanting "USAF, USAF, USAF, USAF..." inside her head. Her sanity was hanging by a thread.

"Any ideas?".

She suppressed the sensation as the whisper on her left ear nearly proved to be her undoing. 

Why oh why?

"Um ... afraid not." She couldn't think. She was too busy struggling between conflicting pleasures and common sense. So far, common sense held his ground, but it was a rocky one. She bet pleasure would soon knock her opponent down. Why wouldn't it? Her body was plastered against his; touching some inappropriate places.

Why did temptation have to be so ... tempting? 

"Are you alright?" the concern voice of a friend distracted her from her current state of mind. The head on her left shoulder drew back, separating his body from hers slightly. Instinctively she faced him, prompting their foreheads to touch against each other. His brown eyes bore deep into hers, searching for any indication of her problem. The intensity of the gaze forced her to blink several times.

"I'm okay. Just ..." She hesitated; unsure whether she could trust herself to keep this to herself. 

"Prefer not to be tied up?" he finished her sentence. 

"There's that," she admitted, refusing to meet his gaze for much longer, her head moving back to its previous position. "And something else." 

"Want to tell me about it?"

Sure! When pigs fly she'd do *just* that. Or when they were no longer in the same chain of command. Or when by some miracle, the fraternization rules no longer existed ... any one of those would do. She wasn't that picky. 

"It's nothing, really." She replied, trying to evade the question. "It's just that … this is so unfair."

"Unfair?" He was amused by her answer. 

"Yeah. Daniel always gets the comfy accommodation."

"Well, what can I say? That boy sure oozes charm. Girls fall at his feet quite easily."

"I guess so."

The silence was back. It was a comfortable one. They'd known each other for so long now, that sometimes conversation wasn't needed. They simply enjoyed each other company, even though awkward moments could arise now and again. 

Her peripheral vision suddenly caught something interesting. So interesting that she decided to focus all her attention at it. The more she stared, the more she longed for it. But no matter what, she couldn't have it. So, she settled with glaring instead.

"Stop it!" he ordered. 

"Sir?" she was puzzled. 

"You are staring at my neck. Stop it!"

She huffed indignantly. "I am *not* staring at your neck." 

Which was half-true. It wasn't his neck in general that she was staring at. It was the *vein* on his neck, the one that was beating regularly. It looked good enough to bite. The skin was well tanned and the gentle pounding of his blood made it at least ten times more irresistible. She licked her lips in anticipation, aware that he couldn't see her action.

"I can feel your eyes burning a hole on it," he accused. 

Mmm ... she was quite sure that she wasn't a vampire. Thus, it didn't explain this sudden urge of making her teeth imprint *there*. Surely there was another reason for this unexplainable ... desire. 

"Really?" She played the game amicably. 

"Carter, *stop* it!" he repeated the order. "It's making me nervous."

She could feel him tensing. Feeling slightly guilty of being the cause of his discomfort, she forced herself to avert her eyes from their newly found obsession. She sighed inwardly. 

"Thank you." He let out a breath. 

The muscles beneath her arms relaxed considerably. Speaking of muscle ... a vision of bare arms that belonged to a certain colonel entered her vision. She closed her eyes and tried her best to chase the image away. It was unwise to be in a gutter when their lives were in danger. But the gutter had another idea. Instead of letting her go, it sucked her more deeply like quick sand. The owner of the bare arms now had bare feet as well. Nice. 

Then a bare chest. 

Mmm ... gutter was a great place to be. 

Followed by bare thighs.

Holly Hannah!

She was mentally undressing her CO. Her *superior* officer. Whom she should respect and honored. And yet, here she was, stripping articles of his clothing one by one inside her head. 

She was such a pervert. 

The realization made her frown. Her? A pervert? Something was wrong. Very wrong. But when it came to *him*, she had admitted long ago that anything was possible. Using her fuzzy logic, she deduced that because he was 'wrong' for her, then *everything* could go wrong if it concerned him. Thus, it made a perfect sense. 

At least, that's what she told herself anyway. Logic sorted, now it was time to continue her previous activity. 

Where was she? Oh yeah, the naked thighs. Now, it was time to take off his --

"Carter, stop it!" he hissed. 

She hated when people interrupted her like that. "What?" 

"Whatever you're doing, you'd better stop it, right now!" The strain on his voice was not hard to miss. 

Genuinely clueless, she asked him again. "What is it that you want me to stop doing?" The last time she checked, he was not a mind reader. 

"You damn well know what it is," he said through gritted teeth. 

If she knew, she wouldn't ask him, would she? But she was wise enough not to say it out loud. Besides, she *did* something that did warrant his caution. And not to mention --

Oh.

Hello there. 

Someone was happy to see her. But she needed to check anyway, just in case. 

"Sir?"

"Yeah?" 

"They took your sidearm, didn't they?"

His body tensed. His silence was the confirmation that she was asking for. She might have lost the feeling in her arms and legs, but her ... certain body part was still alert enough to sense any additional pressure. 

So ...

Whatever she did earlier apparently had an effect on him. He was only human and she was pleasantly surprised to know that she could stir the man in him. That was good to know. Well, okay, that was *great* to know. She was, after all, sighing with delight and panting a little when her imagination ran wild earlier. Pressing her body closer to his, allowing her to get to know the contours of his body better.

Ah. Right ... so, *that* was the things that he wanted her to stop doing. She didn't even realize the that she was doing it. 

She grinned openly like the cat that got the cream. Or like a maniac! She didn't particularly care, and *that* usually only happened when she was gloating. More so, when she didn't get any reply for her rhetorical question. 

Looked like Fate was throwing her a bone. 

She wondered how far she could push her advantage ... and get away with it. He couldn't report it to General Hammond anymore than she could. Whatever happened in this room would stay in this room. That thought gave her the boost of confidence she needed. 

"Don't!" was all he said. 

She was tempted to play innocent, but being ignorant was more her style. She blatantly disregarded his warning. Her eyes reverting back to his neck. Without any further ado, her lips descended onto his skin. 

He jumped. 

And cursed. But he made no effort to discourage the activity. With silent acceptance her tongue and teeth began feasting on him. Closing her eyes only seemed to heighten her pleasure. The salty taste of his skin began overwhelming her taste bud. 

He kept on cursing. Disturbingly enough, she found it endearing. 

The pressure *down* there was definitely increasing and she was purring in satisfaction, her mouth began traveling seductively along his neck. 

"Carter! *Get* a grip!" he snapped, as the tip of her tongue touched his collarbone. 

Was he kidding? Didn't he know that she was having fun? She had to shut him up. And there was only one way that she could do that. She snapped her head back and stared at his lips hungrily. 

He saw it too. 

"No." The fire in his eyes was enough to make sure that she followed that order. 

"Why not?" She whined unashamedly. 

"Because, there's definitely something wrong with you," he insisted. "Or else you wouldn't be doing this."

Huh? So he wanted to blame her behavior on some alien influence. That was fine by her. As long as he allowed her to do as she pleased. Ignoring his indignant cry, she attacked the other side of his neck. That should teach him not to deny her his lips next time. 

"Major, snap out of it," he growled. She ignored him, but he tried again, "Carter, this isn't you."

And? So? But? Therefore?

Even *if* she was under an influence (which she might be - she ate some strange cake and drank some unknown hooch earlier), she was *not* going to waste the opportunity to taste the whole surface of his neck. Maybe more if he allowed it. If Fate decided that she should not be in her right mind at this moment, then there was nothing that she could do. Except make the best out of it. 

Besides, he was enjoying it. His body clearly said so. 

And it's a fact that fighting Fate was futile. She knew it from past experience. 

Man, he was delicious. Sensing his hesitation, she pushed their bodies forward so that he was now lying on his back with her on top. She began trailing his jaw with lips, kissing downwards. He was saying something to her, but she was so engrossed in her chore that she couldn't make out what it was. The words 'home', 'Fraiser' and 'examination' came up a lot though. Her body started moving provocatively, stretching and rubbing with only one goal in mind. To make him want her like she wanted him. 

First things first. His lips required her attention. 

She had to touch it with hers, but that damn man kept tilting his head upwards, denying her wish. The rope limited her degree of freedom, but that was all right, she could lure the said lips to her. Nibbling the flesh that was presented to her, she waited patiently. 

No need to rush things. They had all the times in the world. 

"O'Neill, MajorCarter."

Or *not*. 

She felt like screaming. Teal'c was usually possessed with great timing, what was wrong with him today? 

"Teal'c, buddy. Untie us. Now!" pleaded the Colonel desperately. 

"Am I interrupting something?" the Jaffa inquired. Well, he was neither blind nor stupid. 

"Yes!"

"No!"

Surely there was no need to clarify which one said which.

To his credit, Teal'c only raised one eyebrow and said, "Very well," before cutting them free in no time. 

She grumbled but held no grudge against the Jaffa. She never could. But when the colonel's warmth left her, she gave him an evil look. Teal'c seemed confused, but he maintained his silence. The colonel looked relieved when they were finally separated. Not that she could blame him. She was quite sure that he was on the verge of giving up to his lust when Teal'c came in. 

Damn!

Oh well. Better not to dwell in the past. She could always start over. It wasn't like she didn't enjoy making the effort. Comforting herself with that thought, she smiled brightly. And for that, the Colonel eyed her warily. It seemed that he recognized the trouble he was in. 

He whispered something to Teal'c and soon he was armed with a Zat gun. He aimed it at her. She knew what he was going to do. She was a liability in her current state. He couldn't risk her seducing him while they went to rescue Daniel. 

"Can't you just tie me up again instead?" she offered an alternative. Being Zatted was not really a pleasant experience. 

"I could." He nodded solemnly. 

She knew the routine all too well. She put her hands behind her back and watched as the Colonel walking closer towards her. Giving the Zat back to Teal'c he moved nearer, holding a piece of rope in his hand. When he was just a step away from her, he said, "Turn around."

Fate might have played her like a puppet on a string, using her for a source of amusement, but she was smart. She knew how to cheat Fate. 

Before he (or Fate) could say or do anything else, she flung both of her arms around him, drawing him close to her and claimed his lips in one single flawless motion. 

Never let it be said that Sam Carter didn't know how to get what she wanted ... even when she was under the influence. 

**_* The End * _**

Any review or feedback is greatly appreciated. Thank a bunch to Scully who beta-read this one. 

Becky did a wallpaper for this fic, you can find it here: www. chrisknell. com / rebeccaknell / Fate.jpg (remove the spaces)


	2. Fate Episode 2: The Gutter Strikes Back

**Fate Episode 2: The Gutter Strikes Back**

By Blue Topaz

AN: For Becky ... Happy B-day. Thanks to Scully who beta-read it.

Jack O'Neill is a man of integrity; he is also a man who knows his limit. And right now, his limit is being pushed.

Hard.

Any other sane man would have just thrown away his honor and dignity, but not him. Never him. He prided himself of having an incredible amount of self-control. Though the beast in him was roaring, screaming murder and kicking the proverbial cage that was his will power in an attempt to escape, he stayed in control.

Correction. Barely in control.

He knew that he was fighting a losing battle, but damn it, he would not go down without a fight. Besides, who knows, maybe the opponent would get tired first and then back down.

Fat chance it would happen, but he could hope, right? Or maybe, Teal'c and Daniel would come back soon. That way, the battle would be over and there would be no winner. He could live with that.

"Sir..." the voice was pure silk, buzzing with unmasked seduction. "Don't you want me?"

He clenched his fists.

Carter, Carter, Carter.

Did she have to ask that question?

They both knew the answer to that question. But, that wasn't possible, was it? Not now at least.

Not when they were still in the same chain of command. He had high hopes for her and her career in the USAF.

Not when they were on an alien planet. Which kind of makes the whole thing inappropriate, although he had to admit, it was poetic. Not when they were in danger. They were hiding from the natives inside a cave while Teal'c was on a rescue mission to save Daniel from the princess' clutches. Adolescent crushes are a dangerous thing. He had learnt that the hard way.

Not when she was under the influence. When (not 'if'), and only when they finally did it, he didn't want any regret. And that could only be done if they were in the right frame of mind.

"I know you do," the voice continued. The owner fluttered her lashes expertly, a siren calling for her prey.

His eyebrow twitched.

Yup, the opponent was as blunt as the tablets in Daniel's office. She unashamedly used any advantages that she had, exploiting it fully to bring victory to her side. In any other circumstances, he would've been proud of being the one who taught her this. But right now, he was miffed. Who could've guessed that his careful grooming could backfire like this?

He ignored her.

It was either that, or give in to lust.

That was why he placed himself far enough from her reach, but near enough to watch her. He wondered why he choose to stay behind and let Teal'c venture out to get the captured linguist. It was a bad idea. A very bad idea. But, he couldn't do anything about it now. At least the current situation was better compared to an hour ago. Carter was the only one with the rope around her right now, preventing her from taking liberty of his body.

He could still feel the ghost of her warmth on his skin; the way she rubbed against him and the touch of her lips on the column of his neck. He could still hear her satisfied sigh after she cunningly stole his lips. The taste of her still lingered on his mouth.

Damn. She was good.

Too good.

"Colonel..." a moan. "You know you want too..."

His pants were getting smaller.

He needed something to shut her up. Her mouth had been tormenting him for sometime, goading and taunting him to enter the gutter. It was funny how that mouth behaved when Teal'c was still there, and then suddenly let loose as soon as the 'big man' was gone. It was a bit amusing to see that she still had some modesty in her present state.

"Come on, Sir..." She was restless, as well as ruthless. "Let me take care of your side-arm probl…mphh"

In lightning speed, he was by her side; his hand stopped her from finishing the sentence, clamping her mouth tightly. He had heard enough. If ten strings could illustrate his composure, then nine of them had already snapped and the last one was on fire. The mental image generated by her words was that good.

"Stop it," he hissed loudly.

Then he realized his mistake. The distance between them was gone and her eyes continued where her mouth had left off. She looked up to him, her eyes clouded with passion and longing; it beat puppy dog eyes anytime. The ultimate weapon. How could he win against that?

Tell him! How?

His defense was crumbling into a pile of dust.

The deep blue pool, caught in a limbo, hypnotized him. He wanted her. He had to have her. Now! He yearned for the contact of skin against skin, with no barrier between them. Touching and caressing her like no one had ever done.

Fortunately (or maybe not), she started licking the palm of his hand. Jolting back to reality, he jumped back from her.

Damn it.

He stepped away from her, defying the gravity of her charm. It was pathetic that he still found her irresistible, even though he knew that this was not the real her. The genuine Carter wouldn't utter those words; it wasn't her way. But, ironically he acknowledged that he would.

He must be slipping. He forgot to close that mouth, the original source of his predicament.

She sulked while watching him move further away from her reach. "Why not? Your gun is practically locked, loaded and ready for action anyway."

He had to close his eyes and groan at that statement. The blood from his brain had been traveling south long ago, he couldn't think properly. The only thing that held him back was ... was ... was ... something important that he couldn't remember right now. But it was important, he was quite sure of it.

Because of her tied hands and legs (he couldn't take any chances of her making any kind of movement) and her sitting position on the ground, she could only pout prettily when he didn't say anything back to her. The conversation was definitely one-way.

She licked her lips while focusing her eyes at his 'side-arm', and then she threw him a suggestive look. "Colonel, don't be so stingy. I'll take a good care of you and your 'friend', I promise."

His knees buckled.

Daniel is so dead.

If not for him, then they wouldn't have been captured in the first place; they could have been back on Earth right now. He didn't have to baby sit her, and Fraiser could fix whatever wrong with Carter in no time.

She closed her eyes and threw her head back slightly. "Ahh... do you know what I am thinking right now?" She moaned in pleasure. "I am imagining how good it is to have you _beep_ me."

Maybe he should kill Teal'c too, just for the heck of it.

After all, the Jaffa had left him alone with her.

"I know we are good together. First, you would _beep_ and then _beep beep beep_. It felt so good that I _beep_ and _beep_ and _beep beep_."

Even though his brain was doing some kind of automatic censoring to cover some of the words that she used (because deep down he knew that Carter wouldn't ever use that kind of language), he was still reacting to it.

He glanced at the wall of the cave longingly. Maybe everything would be better if he could just bang his head against it. He could always try; he was at the end of his rope.

He was just a man.

How could he fight the force of nature?

But, Carter is Carter. She was the best 2IC he had ever had. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't betray her trust and respect.

He was a man, not an animal. He had control over his urges.

"Sir, can you feel it? My finger on your lips, barely making contact, but you can still feel it ..."

_BEEP_

HELP!

Somebody, please, have mercy on me.

He gulped nervously.

"... with the tip of my finger, I'll draw a line down your body. First is your chin, then neck ... chest ... bellybutton ... then down ... down ... down ... till it reaches your..." the sentence went unfinished, not that it made any difference.

One disturbing thought entered his mind briefly. Phone sex with Carter would be great. Of that he could be sure.

But, that was beside the point.

And that line of thinking didn't really help him either.

"... I love to see you in your uniform, but it's nothing compared to seeing you in your birthday suit ..."

Control.

Remember, he was in control.

Nothing would happen if he just stayed in control.

"... I should be the one who undresses you of course. After all, it can be fun..."

Distraction.

He needed distraction.

However the only distracting thing in the cave was her.

Not good.

Not good at all.

"... I could kiss the newly exposed skin, taking things slowly, driving you mad with need..."

She was driving him nuts just talking about it.

He didn't think that he could survive the experience. Not that he would choose life over death in this matter.

"... and when we finally ma-- mphh"

He had heard enough. If this continued, he didn't want to be held responsible for his actions. Court martial was just one millimeter away. Once again, his hand covered her mouth. Learning from the past mistake, he avoid staring into her eyes and concentrated on looking for anything to gag her.

But he couldn't find anything.

It didn't surprise him, really. Things didn't go his way lately and he was kind of getting used to it.

As proven by the way her tongue was licking the palm of his hand at this moment. Again.

But, he could deal with this. No problem whatsoever. Besides, this way the tongue did less damage to his mental state than when it was able to speak.

Who the hell was he trying to kid?

Carter was good at anything, and her talented tongue proved that. Even with her handicap, she could still attain her objectives. She made love to the palm of his hand with her mouth and made some appreciative noises.

He needed someone to shoot him.

Hey, that was probably a good idea. If he were injured, maybe the pain would distract him from the gutter? Or maybe Carter would take pity on him and would stop her... what should he call it? Seduction?

He soon dismissed the thought. He so did not want to explain the root of his injury to the folks back home, especially not to General Hammond or Fraiser.

Speaking of them, he had a headache thinking about how he should write the report for this mission. There was no way he could include this in any paperwork, however the Doc might need any and all information to cure Carter.

Carter was still making those noises. He needed to stop that, but how?

He almost lost it. He could feel it. It was a matter of seconds before he would start ignoring the voice inside his head that told him to hang on.

"Jack, what are you doing?"

He froze when he heard that voice. Salvation had come in the form of Daniel. Maybe he wouldn't have to kill him after all; he was rather fond of the archaeologist anyway.

"O'Neill, do you require any assistance?"

He let out a big sigh of relief. Finally ... he was truly saved. Now, they can all go home and live happily ever after. Or so he thought.

"Let's go home," he said. He didn't want to waste any more time on this planet. It was traumatizing. After what had happened, he preferred Goa'uld fortress to this one. Inebriated Carter was a force to be reckoned with. He couldn't let his guard down, even for a second.

"We can't," Daniel dutifully inform him.

He glared at the younger man. "What do you mean we can't?"

"I mean we can't. When they realized that you were missing from their prison, they guarded the Gate."

D'oh.

Okay, no need to panic just yet. Now that the reinforcement had arrived, he still could win this. All he had to do now was to concentrate on how to get home quickly.

And he needed to let go of Carter, who was still doing stuff to his hand.

"T, Daniel, do you have something to gag Carter with?" he asked hopefully.

Daniel looked at him strangely while Teal'c had that understanding look on his face. He was grateful that only the Jaffa knew about the circumstances. Because, if it was Daniel, he wouldn't be able to resist cracking a joke about this. But this was not funny. Not funny at all.

"Will my bandana do?" Daniel offered nevertheless. He probably realized that he wouldn't get any explanation soon, so he didn't ask any unnecessary question for now.

"Thank you," he accepted the bandana gratefully.

Unfortunately, to put the gag on her mouth, he had to use both of his hands.

She wasted no time to use the little freedom that she was given. "If you want to do it in front of an audience, I don't mind."

Where did her modesty go? Just when he thought that the arrival of Teal'c and Daniel could put an end to this, she struck another blow.

That's it!

He'd resign as soon as he got home.

This job was so not worth it.

_The End_

Any review or feedback is greatly appreciated.


	3. Fate Episode 3: Everybody Loves Jack

**Fate Episode 3: Everybody Loves Jack**

By Blue Topaz

**Note:** This is for Scully ... a wonderful friend. Who also beta-read this fic. Thank you for everyone who has been very supportive and keep on encouraging me to write more story, so sorry for the long delay for this fic, there's just so much going on right now. I hope you guys enjoy this fic.

There were times when Daniel Jackson was glad that he was not an M.D. And this was definitely one of those times.

His heart felt for Janet, the poor woman. The unfortunate doctor that had to deal with ... _**that**_.

Daniel shivered involuntarily. He had faced many enemies and survived, he had ascended and descended, he had tasted death and defeated it. But none of them compared to this. He didn't want to experience it again, _**ever**_. Those three hours were pure hell. He was glad that it was over now that they were back on Earth.

It was so horrible that he couldn't even make fun of Jack. That was the worst part of it. What was the point of being a friend if you couldn't make fun of them?

Well, it all started when he was reunited with his friends after his brief 'capture'. Teal'c had told him something earlier about Sam acting weird. When Sam had informed Jack that she didn't mind doing it in front of an audience, Daniel was not so innocent to miss the implication of what 'it' was. Besides his deduction skill was quite polished. Normally, Sam would only have that wishful look in her eyes, not that hungry look that really didn't really suit her at all. Well ... it probably did, judging from the strain that Jack was in; that poor man. Daniel thought of her as a sibling, and seeing her like that freaked him out a bit. Well ... in the beginning.

Why was it only in the beginning? Because it freaked him more and more as the minutes passed. He never knew that under the influence that Sam could be this - how should he put it? 'Loose'. Very loose. Well, at least her tongue was. So loose that Daniel had sworn that he would never ever let her get drunk around him. It would be wise to be out of her way.

Jack had a very great initiative when he borrowed Daniel's bandana to gag her, unfortunately it was not meant to be. Sam calmly pointed out that if she couldn't say anything, how would she be able to tell them if she needed to take a leak, or warn them if she noticed any danger? Both valid points which Daniel eagerly supported. But, just so that he could have more ammunition to tease Jack with. This spontaneous action however, just proved how naïve he was.

Sometimes Daniel wished that Jack didn't know himself too well. Acknowledging that he was on a verge of losing his composure, Jack assigned Daniel to watch over Sam while he and Teal'c went out to scout the surroundings; planning their escape from the planet. Daniel, once again, naively didn't protest much to that order. He doubted that Jack would give any shit - pardon the language, but he was too tired to be polite - to his objection anyway, but he would've felt a whole lot better knowing that he didn't get into that situation so gullibly.

He preferred to be in Netu by himself than be alone with a 'loose' Sam. God help him, he really meant it.

It was only natural for them to start talking when the rest of their team left them alone. However, it was _**not**_ natural for her to complain about Jack's lack of response to her advances. Not when it was accompanied with great details, which made him cringe. He would never look at a sidearm in the same light again.

It went downhill from there.

She asked him to help her.

With his body.

Yup. Somehow, Sam suggested a partnership in seducing Jack.

Her reason was that it would be much harder to refuse two good-looking people than just one. Apparently, she didn't mind sharing, as long as she was getting some. He couldn't decide who he should pity more. Jack, because he was Sam's target, or himself because Sam wanted him to help her that way.

Note to self: inebriated Sam was illogical.

Why she would think that Daniel would want to seduce Jack was beyond him. He didn't swing that way. Come to think of it, neither did Jack. When he mentioned this fact to her, she only looked at him funny and said, "Everybody loves Colonel O'Neill. His charm defeats the boundary of man and woman."

The only thing that crossed his mind at the time was how cheesy she sounded. She must've quoted it from some movie or books she'd read. The sentence might hold some truth in it. Jack was an attractive individual after all. But, to him personally, it felt so wrong on so many levels. Just because she found Jack hard to resist didn't mean that he felt the same. Not in that way anyway.

It didn't help that she continued to tell him everything about her supposedly foolproof plan to get Jack to succumb to her feminine wiles. Daniel didn't need to know where Jack's sensitive spots were, or how to undress his friend's clothes correctly (Sam had a very distinct preference on which piece of clothing needed to be discarded first). He also didn't want to speculate on how long would it took for Jack to progress from kissing to something more intense, or how many times the Colonel could 'do' it in one night.

But he was informed anyway. Against his will, he had to add.

Sam was like a runaway train; there was just no way of stopping her from speaking her mind. He was only a human. Hearing explicit descriptions like that, did something amazing to the production of his hormones. Knowing who the actors in her 'tale' were, only made the experience more disturbing than it already was.

He was quite sure that he was scarred for life.

Putting your fingers in your ears and humming loudly can solve a whole load of problems, Jack once said. Daniel decided to put that to practice. Strangely enough, it worked like a charm. He only regretted that he didn't remember about it sooner. It could have saved him several sessions with the psychiatrist.

When Jack and Teal'c came back, he cried with joy. He made them promise not to let him alone with her again or he would commit suicide ... or something. He finally understood why Jack looked so relieved when he and Teal'c rejoined them.

He should have known that life was not that simple.

Sam was a smart woman, sometimes too smart for her own good. Sober, she was a great ally to have. Under the influence, you wouldn't want to know her at all. She didn't differentiate between friend and foe.

That still didn't explain why she suddenly had the idea that Daniel was seeing Jack behind her back though. Her exact words - delivered in something close to hatred - were, "I knew it! That must be it! Daniel, how could you do this to me? How long have you been sleeping with Colonel O'Neill? Sir, is this why you don't want me, because you're getting it from Daniel? Daniel, is this why you refused to help me seduce the Colonel, because you don't want to share?"

He would have laughed if his name were not included in that little outburst. Instead, he was doing an excellent imitation of a goldfish. Jack was pretty much doing the same thing while Teal'c did his trademark expression, raising one of his eyebrows.

She wasn't finished. "You're doing it off-world too, aren't you? I can't believe that I was so blind."

That was when Daniel decided to deny the accusation. "Sam, what makes you think that ... err ... Jack and I didn't ... " It might have had more impact if he could just form a coherent sentence, but not even his doctorate in Linguistic Studies could have made him complete the speech.

She glared at him. "It had to be you. You spend a lot of time with him, being his teammate and all. You're doing it in your office too, aren't you? Is that why you keep hand lotion there?"

Oy!

That _**hand**_ lotion was for his _**hand**_. He had to use gloves quite often; some artifacts are too fragile or sometimes too dangerous to be handled by bare hand. And he always washed his hands after taking off the gloves, primarily because he didn't like the rubbery smell on his hand.

Daniel spluttered in self-defense, "Being Jack's teammate doesn't mean that I am ... 'with' him. And besides, why are you accusing me? Why not Teal'c?"

If he had known what her answer would be, he wouldn't ask that question. Not even if someone was pointing a gun on his head. Not even if someone promised him a planet full of archeological ruins.

Sam snorted. "Well, of course no one can refuse the Colonel. But look at Teal'c! He had to be the _seme_? Being the _uke_ didn't suit the Colonel's personality. Therefore they won't work. It suits yours though. It simple logic really."

Hadn't he scarred enough?

There were times when Daniel Jackson regretted the fact that he was an excellent Linguist, who was quite proficient in writing, reading and speaking Japanese. And this was definitely one of those times.

If you wanted to know what the heck a _seme_ or an _uke_ were, please go to the internet and Google it yourself. He didn't think that he was up to translate and explain them in the appropriate context right now. However, if you're feeling lazy, you can cheat and read the author note at the end of this fic.

"What the Hell did those words mean?" Jack asked in direction of Daniel.

"You wouldn't want to know." Daniel spared his friend from knowing. He wondered briefly how she knew those words, but he had a foreboding feeling that he wouldn't like the answer if he asked the question. Ignorance was such bliss.

From the corner of his eyes, Daniel saw Teal'c twitch his lips slightly. He had a sneaky suspicion that the Jaffa knew those words and enjoyed seeing his discomfort.

"That bad, huh?" Jack winced when he saw the expression on his friend's face.

"That bad," Daniel agreed whole-heartedly.

One day, they would sit and laugh about this. Not today though, definitely not today.

"See, you two are making eyes at each other."

Daniel was going to tease Sam, mercilessly, after she returned to normal. He would make her blush so hard that she would get a fever out of it. It was only fair.

After he managed to look her straight in the eyes without blushing himself, he asked desperately, "Guys, tell me that we can get home soon." Daniel didn't like this Sam at all. The sooner they get home, the sooner Janet could figure out what was wrong with her and cure her. He missed his sweet and caring Sam. She was much more nicer than this one.

"How can you deny that you're not _beep_-ing each other?"

Daniel was so glad that Jack had told him about his censoring technique earlier. It helped lessen the impact somehow.

"Teal'c, help," Jack pleaded weakly. He had resigned to his fate long ago and tried his best to ignore his 2IC.

Daniel sympathized with him. After all, he was in the same situation.

Teal'c nodded slightly and then approached the source of their misery. "MajorCarter, I assure you that O'Neill and DanielJackson are only friends and not lovers."

Sam looked up to him. "How do you know? What proof do you have?"

"What proof do you need?" Teal'c asked.

She seemed thoughtful for a while; her brow wrinkled in concentration. Her teeth gnawed her bottom lip, and then she glanced at the Colonel speculatively.

"Well, if the Colonel can open his shirt and let me inspect his body ..." she trailed off. "If there are no love bites on it, then I am willing to believe that they're just friends."

Jack blanched. "No!" was his curt reply.

Teal'c ignored his reply. "If O'Neill does it, will you remain silent until we get back to Earth?"

"I'll think about it," Sam said.

"Damn it, Teal'c. I said 'no'," Jack protested.

Daniel cleared his throat. "Actually Jack, I think it's not such a --"

"Daniel! Not you too! I said 'no', that means 'no'." Jack replied vehemently, standing by his decision.

If only it was Jack suffering, Daniel wouldn't give a damn. But this concerned him too. So, he had to insist on it. "Look Jack, all you have to do is show her some skin. Be glad that she didn't ask you to drop your pants too."

Oops.

He should have known that Sam would exploit any opportunity that was presented to her.

"Ah. That's not a bad idea. The pants to, Sir ... please."

Her eyes lit with excitement. Meanwhile, Jack's eyes looked like he was ready to kill someone. There was a high probability that 'someone' was a linguist.

"O'Neill, this is a good opportunity to stop MajorCarter from vocalizing her thoughts. We could think and act more efficiently, so that we can find a way home faster," Teal'c offered his advice.

Daniel pitied Jack for having to make the decision. In return for this favor, he would be nice to his friend ... for a few days. Jack deserved a break. It was easy to see that Jack was torn between the two choices. But, like they all know, stopping Sam from speaking was worth any sacrifices.

He wondered if him and Jack could attend some therapy sessions together. They could help each other recover from this tragedy more quickly. Maybe Janet could join them too. He was quite sure that the doctor would suffer the same fate after she spent some time with this Sam.

Jack hissed loudly. "Okay. I'll do it. But, only the shirt and **_only_** if Carter promises not to say a word until we put her in Fraiser's care."

Sam grinned like a cat that got both the cream and the canary, like Daniel guessed she would. "Fine by me."

They should have been more suspicious on how easily she accepted the terms. But, they were weary and tired, their judgment was slightly impaired.

Jack put down his weapons on the floor and proceeded to quickly take off his shirt.

"There! Are you happy now?" He retorted snappily. His hand clutched his shirt.

"Can you come closer? I can't see much from here," she complained.

Jack hesitated before he finally walked towards her slowly, as if she was a wild animal that would pounce on him if he made a sudden move.

Which was exactly what she did.

It happened so fast. One moment Jack was standing and the next he was on the floor, with Sam straddling his waist, her thighs trapped his body expertly. Even bound, she sure knew how to fight. Her military training had not gone to waste. Jack must have hit his head on the ground because he didn't fight her off straight away.

"Jack."

Worried, Daniel was about to help his friend when Sam suddenly yelled. "See! I knew I was right. You have hickeys on your neck."

Daniel froze on the spot. Jack groaned under her, one of his hands flew to the back of his head to massage it.

"I believe that was your doing, MajorCarter," Teal'c levelly said. "You were attacking O'Neill's neck with your lips before I rescued you."

Daniel's head turned towards the Jaffa.

She did?

"I did?" Sam echoed his thought.

"Indeed, you did," the Jaffa confirmed patiently.

She titled her head slightly, leaning closer to observe the red marks on her leader's tanned skin. "Yeah, I guess they are mine."

"Carter, get off me!" Jack ordered while trying to push her away.

Stubbornly, she managed to stay in her position. "Not until I take a better look at you. I have only inspected your neck."

Nursing his head wound, Jack could only surrender to her ministration for now. Her eyes raked his body in an agonizing pace. It was unnerving to watch them like that. And to think the damage that this could do to Jack's mental health ...

"Err ... should we help him?" Daniel whispered tentatively to Teal'c.

His friend replied, "I do not think that it is necessary at this moment."

Daniel knew that, but he was worried that they would be too late if they didn't do anything. It would be such a waste if Jack went insane, he was a good friend who always remind him when to eat when he became too engrossed in his projects.

"That's enough, Carter. How long does it take to take a look at me anyway?" Jack stared at her. He could have removed her by force if he wanted too, but he could not risk injuring her.

"As long as I have to."

Daniel didn't just see Sam licking her lips and grinding her hips into Jack. In fact, he didn't hear the moan that escaped Jack's lips either. He had a sneaking suspicion that all her accusations earlier was just so that she could have Jack stripped of his shirt, thereby enabling her to do unspeakable things to him. The smug grin that she wore only confirmed that thought.

Denial is a river in Egypt. He knew it because he'd been there before. That was why he turned his back on his friends, closed his eyes, put his fingers on his ears and hummed loudly.

Jack would have to survive this without Daniel's help. There were just so much one would and could do for one's friend.

_**The End **_

AN: In man-man relationship, _seme_ basically means the guy on top (the one who 'give' it, the 'male' role) and _uke_ means the guy on the bottom (the one who 'receive' it, the 'female' role). I know that if two guys are in a relationship, they could 'take turn' while doing 'it', but Sam was stereotyping her friends into someone who would only take either the 'male' or the 'female' role ... blushing I can't believe I actually explaining this ... come to think of it, I can't believe I am actually writing Sam saying all those things. Err ... yeah, if you enjoy the fic, please do send a review or a feedback.


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